Not What He Seems
by NatureG45
Summary: "Not knowing is the greatest pain any of us will ever encounter, but with someone by our sides maybe we can endure it for a little while longer." PJO AU


" _Not knowing is the greatest pain any of us will ever encounter, but with someone by our sides maybe we can endure it for a little while longer."_

 _ **BOOM!**_

The entire camp shook.

Birds were frightened from their nests sent screeching into the sky, half-bloods were thrown to the dirt at the force- ruining basketball games, sparring matches and makeup sessions. The curses were loud and unrestrained.

Lucy moaned from where she landed, blindly groping around for her book until she felt its smooth cover under her fingertips. Thank gods for the dust jacket else it'd be completely ruined by now.

Her clothes, dirty. Hair, messy. Skin, unbruised.

She was fine by all means but, she thought standing with a frown gazing elsewhere, someone probably wasn't.

The Hephaestus cabin door slammed open before ungraciously falling off its hinges. Foul smelling smoke billowed from the opening and leaked through cracks- new and old- while teenagers poured out from the building, eyes and noses streaming, all covered in a black gooey something and on their knees trying to hack up a lung.

One guy had the right idea and made a beeline for the lake.

The cabin shook ominously-once, twice, thrice. It groaned from whatever stress it was under then tiredly gave in when a section of the roof collapsed.

The poor cabin has been through a lot in the past days, it'd probably collapse fully if it isn't seen to soon.

More smoke chugged out from the cabin, so much so that the summer sun had retire early and when it disappeared, two figures appeared in the doorway.

Big, burly and with a swath of spiky, black hair to boot, cabin leader Gajeel was as intimidating as they came with a scowl ever present on his chiseled face. There was even a joke rumour that he was one of Hephaestus' more sophisticated automatons sent to watch over his children.

Now he was pissed, more so than usual.

His hair and clothes were smoldering and fresh burns trailed up his arms. Some of that mystery goo was splattered on his face, covering up his eyebrow piercings though ironically giving him new eyebrows.

Any other time he'd look hilarious but somehow the goop only managed to sharpen the rage in his red eyes as he glared at the person he held arms-length like an insolent puppy. A person who was not quite as burly, dangling above ground with a scowl and hair strikingly pink despite the goop that slithered through.

"Fuckin' hell Salamander!" He shouted, roughly shaking Natsu. "That's the fourth time this week! What've I told you about messin' around in the forges?!"

"I wasn't messing around! I was just trying to help! And put me down!" He fruitlessly thrashed about but Gajeel's grip was absolute.

Gajeel spun around, hair flashing and held Natsu higher- rough and uncaring in his movements so he could fully assess the damage.

"Does this look like helping? _Does it?!_ Every time you try to help you screw something up!"

"I didn't mean-"

"That doesn't matter! We made it clear from day one, touch nothing and we'll live in peace but ya refuse to hear!" Without missing a beat he let go, Natsu dropped heavily in the dirt with a startled yelp.

Gajeel produced a cloth from his overalls and tried to clean his face but it only smeared worse. With a sigh he stuffed it back.

His face softened but only for a moment. "Listen, I know ya just want to fit in and all, but for your own good stay out of the forges. The others aren't as forgiving." Natsu muttered something he couldn't hear. "Give the rest of them some time to cool off, don't come back until dinner just to be safe."

Gajeel turned away, facing the doorway that now leaked less foul smoke and quickly tied up his hair with another sigh. "Now to try and fix this damn mess….." He disappeared inside.

Natsu's face was unreadable as he got to his feet, brushing off dirt from his clothes. Sparks danced around in his hair, popping and sizzling with the slime until it evaporated in a dark cloud. He was- for the most part- clean.

Some Hephaestus kids had already gathered their bearings-even the guy from the lake- and were already filing inside like Gajeel to try and fix whatever exploded.

There was an angry calm to them though, mutters and hisses were sent Natsu's way which he collected with murderous glares as they passed him by.

If he was affected by it he did something, only shoving his hands in his jeans pockets and shuffled off to the shore, head hung low. That was his quiet spot whenever anything went wrong, either there or the forest

Lucy watched him go, getting smaller the further he went until he was a pink dot in the distance clashing with the water's blue.

She fingered the crumpled pages of her novel, indecision gnawed at her thoughts.

He probably wanted to be alone so she shouldn't disturb him. Natsu'd never shout at her to leave but he could be sorta standoffish when he was upset.

Buuuuut, her concern for him's been growing since the past couple of days and she hadn't found a good moment to talk to him.

Indecision be damned, Lucy was going over there to have some dialogue. She needed to be a good friend and it'd be for his own good.

Lucy quietly came up behind him, ditching her sandals early so they wouldn't crunch on the sand for him to notice her quickly.

It didn't make much difference.

Natsu swiveled in his spot on the sand, a smooth tone in his fist being licked by flames and a light smile on his lips. "Hey Lucy." He greeted, carelessly throwing the stone into the water. It skipped perfectly, going five times before sinking amidst steamy bubbles.

"How do you always do that?" Lucy complained, plopping down beside him. "I was being extra careful this time too."

"I'm just awesome like that."

He scooped up a handful of pebbles and did the same, coating them with fire then tossing them across the sound.

How is it that someone can get so many perfect skips with only one throw? And a half-hearted one at that? It was unfair.

The better question was, how's she even gonna break the ice on this one? Lucy frowned.

Couldn't exactly start off with _ **"So, you've been blowing up your cabin for the past couple of days and in the process your cabin mates are trying to figure out how to get away with murder while the rest of the camp is still deciding whether or not to join in. What's up with that?"**_ That wasn't good.

She stared as the pebbles sank to the murky depths in a spectacular frothy fashion when suddenly one broke the surface, hurtling back towards her at blinding speed. It was only when Natsu's arm shot out to deflect it from punting her square in the face that she even began to process it

A nymph poked her head through, gurgling angrily with a shake of her fist then dove back down, not even waiting for an apology.

Natsu cursed, dropping his arm." I always forget that Syrena likes to sunbathe at this time."

He grabbed another stone but it never left his hand, it just tossed and turned in his palm gathering flames. That was when he decided to break the ice, saving Lucy the trouble.

"I'm not in any trouble. "He stated.

"What?"

"You wanna ask about what happened. I can hear you mulling it over in your thoughts. I'm not in any trouble for it if that's what you're wondering."

"Well that's great!" She replied, a little too enthusiastically. Trying to get Natsu to open up about something was a still she still hadn't acquired. She tried in the past but those attempts fell short with Natsu dodging any and all emotional questions.

"Is there…anything else you wanna talk about?" Lucy tried. Gods she really was beating around the bush with this.

"Nope." The flame in his hand flared brighter despite his response. Natsu's fire always told the truth.

""Are you sure?"

"…..Yeah. I'm sure." He gently rolled the hot pebble to the water where the tide took it away as it hissed defiantly.

Lucy blew out a frustrated breath, curling her toes in the sand. Natsu'd thrown up the wall before she'd even gotten a decent chance, now he had another problem unhealthily thrown into the pile that he refused to talk about, that he absolutely refused to let her help with.

Why?

Whenever something was up with her Lucy didn't even need to call, Natsu would be there ready for her to pour her problems into without complaint, offering quips, contraband junk food with some hidden wisdom as comfort.

And when she tried to do the same he blocked her, assuring her he was fine when his eyes and fire said otherwise. He'd retreat into himself carrying heavy burdens while she, unburdened by him, watched from a distance. It didn't feel right.

"I wish you'd talk to me." She murmured to the wind.

Natsu's eyes shot down to her face, surprised. "Whaddya mean?" He asked, confused." We talk."

"Blocking me out isn't talking Natsu." Didn't make sense to keep beating around the bush, might as well just uproot the whole thing. She met his gaze steadily.

"You always block me out when something's wrong, like now."

"Nothing's wrong, I already told you.

"You're lying."

"No I'm not.

"Yes you are."

"No.I' ." A touch of irritability crept into his voice.

"Yes you are."

"No i'm-"

"Yes you are!" She cut their childish back and forth with a furious jab to the group of cabins behind her. Her voice raised slightly.

"My dad gave me hell trying to get me out of the camp! And back to my old life where he controlled everything! Every day during that you were there for me even when you didn't have to and you stuck around 'til that nightmare was over!"

She accusingly prodded his chest. " I've lost count of the times i've seen you looking like how I was during then but when I try to be there for you, you won't let me! And I want to help! Tell me what's wrong Natsu!"

"There isn't anyth-" " .Is! You can't keep everthing locked up inside forever. If you'll just let me listen then I can be there for you like you for me! Talk to me Natsu!"

" **I'm just tired Ok?!"** He snapped.

Tinkling laughter disrupted them and their eyes traveled further down shore. Gray-happier than he normally looked- was making it snow for that siren that fancied him.

He watched as Juvia pulled Gray into the water. She giggled when he surfaced spluttering.

"I didn't mean to yell at you, i'm sorry. I've just….been really tired recently." He shuffled uneasily as though saying just that made him uncomfortable.

The accusing finger fell and she inched closer. "Tired of what Natsu?" She asked gently. He was silent and she waited. Lucy'd pushed him to the threshold, it was up to him whether to cross it or not.

"Is it the other kids?" She tried, resting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Maybe….."

"Natsu." His shoulder fell under her hand and in an instant it was like curled in on himself. "I don't belong in that cabin," He growled, "And they aren't my siblings."

Natsu's eyes darted to hers, as if daring her to say something incriminating. All he got was a squeeze to the shoulder.

"It's alright to feel like that Natsu." Lucy reassured. "I'm pretty sure everyone had that feeling at some point. You know my situation, I wasn't instantly welcomed in the Athena cabin." Severe understatement.

Her dad owns Heart Kruez and she was raised preppy. Lucy had Aphrodite written all over her so it definitely took a while for most of her siblings to warm up to her. Bless her sister Levy for not caring.

"It'll get better. And you have Gajeel to look out for you."

Natsu's gaze lowered to the sand, she could almost feel the weight of what he was holding back. It was stifling. He murmured, "It's not just that. I _know_ I don't belong there."

"I don't understand. If you don't think that's your cabin then where is? Plus you have the fire powers so being in Hephaestus-"

"That's the only reason I'm in there!" He spat. "Nothing else!" Natsu slammed his fist, sending up a heavy white cloud. He took a shaky breath.

"That's all I have that's make me a Hephaestus kid. I sure as hell can't build anything, I know that and they know that. I thought that, maybe, if I worked hard enough Hephaestus might notice me but when I help everything I touch goes up in smoke. I don't belong."

"But Natsu-"

"I haven't even been claimed yet Lucy!" He cried, throwing up smoking hands. "For two years i've been in there. I'm almost 18! Almost old enough to leave camp and still nothing! Kids are supposed to get claimed when they're 12, the latest 15- except me! I'm only in that cabin because it's the only place fully fireproof! Everyone knows it!"

"You can't say that-" Lucy started, trying to make some headway but Natsu cut her off with a humourless laugh.

"What else am I supposed to say? It's the truth. You've been here 1 year, i've been here since I was 12." He fingered the multitude of beads at his throat. "I'm 18 in 4 months. I moved into Hephaestus when I was 15 because they couldn't afford to rebuild Hermes after my last nightmare.

They were all against it but they didn't have a choice and took me in, the kid who's weird even by demigod standards." He tried for another laugh and it came out deader than the first.

"You can't deny that either Lucy. I'm the odd one out no matter which way you look at it- claiming, backstory, powers- the whole thing."

She opened her mouth to shout back some defiant words but dumbly shut it when nothing good came out. There was truth to what he said. She may have only been her for a year ( and not even a full year good) but Natsu was a enigma that snuck into most conversations.

She'd heard from Levy about how they found him when they were on a mission, huddled up to an elderly drakon that gave Natsu to them before passing away with a content huff. According to Natsu that drakon- Igneel- raised him.

He didn't have a weapon, which every demigod child should be outfitted with from setting foot in camp. He said his fire was allhe needed but even those who were power reliant had a weapon to fall back on just in case. Lucy'd heard whispers around dinner time from someone who claimed to be there when Natsu was trying weapons.

They said they heard his skin sizzling before he dropped it like a hot potato. To tell the truth, Lucy never saw Natsu come close to celestial bronze.

That plus more- like him saying how the barrier feels weird when he passes through, him being faster and stronger than any demigod should ever be, _**eating fire,**_ and his ability to sniff out strong monsters while intimidating weak ones- have led to many of the campers skirting around him. Even when he joins a conversation it tends to get cut short.

Hell even his hair, bright bubble-gum pink, was odd. Only monsters and those who dabbled in colour change magic had unnatural hair, and Natsu was neither.

"Natsu." She said. "I, I don't understand what you're trying to tell me. You're saying that Hephaestus isn't for you and you feel left out, but there's something more isn't there? Something else that's nagging you?"

"I don't know how to explain it." He mumbled finally. His fingers were twisted in his t-shirt, a small rip grew by the second.

"Can I show you something?" Natsu suddenly asked. "And you promise not to tell anyone else?" His eyes were wide, fearful she might deny this secret and abandon him.

But even then, he'd unburdened so much to her. Despite the fear there his eyes seemed a little less guarded, less clouded. She couldn't back down now, not when he was putting so much trust in her.

Silently Lucy nodded her promise. Natsu took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He switched positions turning to face her properly and although confused, Lucy did the same.

He took in another heavy breath through his nose, Natsu's eyebrows furrowed in concentration and he started to smoke.

At first it was light, but the longer he went on it darkened. Creases in his face doubled and his lips were set in a thin line at the effort he was expending, his skin even turned red in some places.

No, that wasn't it. Light red patches swirled to scarlet up his arms and cheeks, beginning to harden.

Natsu stifled a gasp when they took shape, gleaming scales broke free of his skin with painful sounding cracks making Lucy flinch at each one. His eyes were still screwed tight as the rest came up. She vaguely noted that she'd seen metallic scales like this before, up in the attic among the oracle's many collectibles. Drakon scales.

The last crack signaled the end to this…..transformation and when Natsu-almost hesitantly- opened his eyes, she realized that that wasn't the only change.

They too were red, a shade that made Gajeel's pale in comparison bordering on a terrifying crimson yet hidden in their depths, encircling the now slit pupils were bright flecks of gold that glimmered with warmth.

Lucy couldn't find the right words to string together and even if she did, her mouth was probably too dry to speak. Her eyes were probably doing all the talking given her they were bugging out of her head, not to mention the gaping. She tried, opening and closing her mouth but could only produce squeaks and at best, half-formed words.

" _Please don't be scared of me_." Came the whisper, almost too soft for her to hear.

"I-" Lucy's voice broke and she tried again. "I'm not scared. I'm just….."

"Scared." It wasn't even a question. He expected her to be horrified. He was expecting her to fly up with a screech and run back to the big house to have him condemned.

But strangely, fear was the emotion she _wasn't_ feeling.

She cradled his face, gently but still firm, holding him close as he reeled back in slight surprise. The scales were warm to the touch and blended smoothly with his skin.

"I'm not scared, believe me. Not in the slightest. I'm just, feeling a lot of things. But i'm not afraid of you." Lucy smoothed her thumbs over his cheeks, scales catching slightly on her skin.

"What is this Natsu?"

"I don't know. The first time it happened I was training by myself some weeks ago, and I felt something in me kinda open up…." Natsu trailed off, dropping his gaze to the shifting sands where his hands- scaled and sharply clawed were half buried. He swallowed thickly.

"And there's more to it." Lucy's thumbs froze on his cheeks and his eyes were back on her face, searching for that fear.

"There's more?"

"Yeah…wings….tail…horns…..my fire turned blue…" As he listed it added more to the picture in her mind. What she saw almost made her heart stop in disbelief.

"It hurt so bad," He continued more to himself, low and horrified. " Almost felt like being burned. Can you imagine, me getting burned? It felt like forever, I was in so much pain. I was on the ground and I couldn't get up.

When it was finally over I-I felt so alive and so strong and…and….." Whatever he was about to say hung in the day but it needn't be continued, Lucy understood perfectly.

"I stayed outside that night, how could I go back to the cabin looking like that?" Tears shone in his red-gold eyes, threatening to break free. "Morning came and still I didn't change. I tried and I tried and I tried to go back, I never tried for something so hard in my life Lucy.

Finally I changed back and it hurt just as bad as when it first happened. Gajeel chewed me out after but I don't even remember. I was too freaked out. Since then, i've been trying to keep it under control, practicing shifting back and forth. It hurts less the more I transform but it's so hard to keep it under control. I have to force myself to stay normal, but's it's getting more difficult.

It's gonna reach a point where I can't keep it secret anymore…what'll I do then Lucy?" He finished hoarsely. The tears spilled down his cheeks, sizzling on his scales until there was none, only steamy tendrils rising from his face.

His voice-cracked,ragged, heavy with desperation- forced tears into Lucy's eyes at his words.

"I'm not a proper demigod. There's so much stuff against me that sets me apart from everyone else. And then there's this, this that makes me look like any other monster out there but still not really. I wouldn't make a proper monster either. I'm so confused and scared about all this, I just want an answer.

What am I supposed? Demigod? Monster? What? Do I even have a parent? Why doesn't anyone want me? Is there something wrong with me?"

He choked up a broken sob that made her tears fall even harder. "I, I'm just so tired of all this. I just wanna go home to Igneel."

Natsu had no tears left. They were all dried up yet still he sobbed mercilessly with Lucy following suit.

His eyes- oh gods- his eyes were so empty, only the rawest emotions swirled in their depths, unhindered. Slit pupils were torn open with fear.

It was a sight she never expected to see-not the transformation- but the look on his face. So dead, not a trace on hope in any of his features and a primal fear surging through him so strong that it had him shaking.

Frantically, his hands began groping around in the sand, searching for another stone to set on fire as though it were his problem and cast it away. But there were none left., His seeking fingers found nothing.

Lucy's hands left his face to grasp at his own, still searching intently. They froze at the sudden contact and almost went limp when she carefully intertwined her finger with his, mindful of the claws and not caring how some of the scales scratched.

The way he was looking at Lucy now was like he was seeing her for the first time in all this

"There's nothing wrong with you." She murmured gently. " You're still you, right? As long as you're still Natsu then we can get through this."

"But-"

"But nothing. You throw up when you eat too much dinner, you're scared to death of Erza, you have nightmares like all of us, you had a hand in that illegal junk food smuggling a while back. I could go on and on about the stuff you do. Has this changed any of that?"

"No." He replied softly. "So you're still you, still the same ol' dorky Natsu that bowled me over on my first day of camp.

I can't begin to imagine what you're going through," she continued truthfully, "Or what all this means for you. I don't really know where to start helping you, but that doesn't mean I won't try."

Lucy raised their intertwined hands and waved them slightly. "We're in this together, 'til the end if necessary. No matter what. I won't say a word to anyone about this. Until we can figure this out just keep it in your head that there's nothing wrong with you. You're still pretty normal like me and the other demigods."

Natsu gazed at Lucy, red eyes unblinking and unreadable as his mouth hung open in a soft 'o', showing wicked fangs. She fidgeted under his stare, ducking her eyes as the silence grew more uncomfortable.

She messed up, didn't she? Did she say something wrong? Was there something she was supposed to say?! Her hands went slack in his.

Oh no, no, no, no ,no,no. What if she only made him feel worse about this? She didn't mean to, but what if-

A soft chuckle broke through her thoughts. His grip tightened on her hands and Lucy felt the scales slowly retreat into calloused skin. Stubby fingers poked her knuckles instead of claws.

Unsure, Lucy peered through her lashes and was slightly taken aback when the red of his eyes bled away to their normal green. She almost didn't realize the wry smile twisting his lips.

"Heh. You, normal? Have you seen you when you get angry? Terrifying." Natsu's eyes narrowed in amusement, the last of the transformation fading. "You should've opted for something a little more believable."

Something bright flickered there, outshining his fear as he gurgled up another weak laugh. "Can't you go a day without calling me weird?" Lucy grumbled but she wasn't truly upset, instead a faint smile formed on her lips while Natsu's laugh strengthened.

Tears leaked down his cheeks once more, dripping off his chin and he made no move to brush them aside. Instead, Natsu pulled Lucy into an embrace.

She squawked at how quickly she was pulled in, leaving her arms awkwardly trapped between them as Natsu buried her face in his shoulder. Lucy wriggled them to freedom and smoothed them over Natsu's back. He sniffled weakly.

"….Are you wiping your nose on my shirt?"

"Maybe." She couldn't suppress the shudder at the knowledge of what that wet spot really was.

"You jerk. I'll get you back for that."

"M'sorry."

"Are you really?" "No."

Literally any other time she'd tell him off, or at least sic Erza on him for doing something so gross but this time he got himself a free pass. There would be no revenge in his future for snotting her camp tee.

"Luce?" "Yeah?"

"Did you really mean what you said? About sticking with me?" His arms tightened around her, as if fearing the worst and not wanting to let go.

"Oh Natsu." Lucy whispered," You know I wouldn't lie to you. I won't leave your side in any of this. I promise.

And," She paused, "I'm sorry for pushing you so hard to talk, I didn't mean to get you so upset."

"It's fine." He murmured, "You just wanted to help me out." Natsu pulled away but still held her close. His eyes were red- no, not that red, the crying kind- and puffy and he was so, _relieved_ for lack of a better word.

"Thank you."

 _ **BOOM!**_

A tremor tore through the camp once more, strong enough to make even the elderly trees groan in disdain. If they weren't already sitting their faces would be in the sand but even so, it rattled their bones quite a bit.

Their heads whipped around just in time to see the Hephaestus cabin go down. No blaze of glory, no spectacular explosion that sent bits of it everywhere, just simply there standing then _poof_ , broken beams and chunks of concrete with a settling dust cloud were all that could be seen.

Even the intricate ironwork that decorated the outer walls lay in shambles.

No Hephaestus kid came scrambling out of the rubble. They were probably trapped down in the forges no doubt with Gajeel screaming his head off and pulling out that mane of his.

" Well at least that wasn't your fault." Lucy suggested.

"It kinda is in a roundabout way. And it's almost dinner too. "His eyes flickered to the darkening sky. "Guess I can't go back there for just a while longer….."

"Wanna hide out in the Athena cabin for the time? No one'll say anything."

Natsu wiped his nose on his sleeve and found his feet. "Sure, but make sure Levy doesn't try to teach me anything again."

Lucy laughed. "No promises."


End file.
